試譯ＪＯＨＮ ＡＳＨＢＥＲＹ的名作ＬＯＶＩＮＧ ＭＡＤ ＴＯＭ

不清

戀上瘋狂的TOM

你自覺錯誤。然後
當眾人已經離去，他們的謊言持續於耳
跨越海洋。你沒察覺到哀傷的黎明被堆積
接連地延伸出去。他們的字語僅僅的
如真理般等待著你，偶爾
源自一首純樸而又沒意識的歌，那概念
總算結結巴巴地被說出來，而那股熱誠決意地令你見證
一條令萬物成真的彼岸

那麼便把它如重物般放下
拾起夢境再次縫紉，彷彿
它依然破爛，正如一個光明但異常寒冷的
下午，是一個逝去的夢。最好還是把它擱置一旁
迅速地掂起腳跟離開。音樂終會奏罷。而那些機遇
也從你臂中隨之而去仿如
提供了那所需的理據。可是又如
一間位於都市的農舍，在某條繁忙但荒涼的馬路上
因極度的阻擾而沉靜下來
猶如一塊隱形的臉從戴帽子的窗向外張望
預警突如其來的雨
跟瘋狂的閃電和令死亡暈眩的雷聲

那就是抵達這裡的方式了
他認為。長矛般的火焰，駿馬般的空氣
和其他都已經準備妥當，以便隨行
並且與所有至今辦妥的事作出比較
而總有一條小河是向北流的
途經蘆葦和樹葉，和那些因震慄的大地
而沮喪的花，這個森林中的車站
是如何建成的？沿途
能夠與其聯繫，與最初的聯繫？
於縱然間那等待
尋覓延續和重新開始的時刻
在昆蟲和狗吠聲之中，所有
瘋狂而不規則的樹林和夜晚終究落下

-------------------

Loving Mad Tom
By John Ashbery

You thought it was wrong.  And afterwards
When everyone had gone out, their lying persisted in your ears,
Across the water. You didn't see the miserable dawns piled up,
One after the other, stretching away.  Their word only
Waited for you like the truth, and sometimes
Out of a pure, unintentional song, the meaning
Stammered nonetheless, and your zeal could see
To the opposite shore, where it was all coming true.

Then to lay it down like a load
And take up the dream stitching again, as though
It were still old, as on a bright, unseasonably cold
Afternoon, is a dream past living. Best to leave it there
And quickly tiptoe out. The music ended anyway. The occasions
In your arms went along with it and seemed
To supply the necessary sense. But like
A farmhouse in the city, on some busy, deserted metropolitan avenue,
It was all too much in the way it fell silent,
Forewarned, as though an invisible face looked out
From hooded windows, as the rain suddenly starts to fall
And the lightening goes crazy, and the thunder fainted dead away.

That was a way of getting here,
He thought. A spear of fire, a horse of air,
And the rest is done for you, to go with the rest,
To match up with everything accomplished until now.
And always one stream is pointing north
To reeds and leaves, and the stunned land
Flowers in dejection. This station in the woods,
How was it built? This place
Of communicating back along the way, all the way back?
And in an orgy of minutes the waiting
Seeks to continue, to begin again,
Amid bugs, the barking of dogs, all the
Maddening irregularities of trees, and night falls anyway.

Loving Mad Tom中的Tom全名Tom O'Bedlam，曾出現於幾首十七世紀的英國詩作。他是一個住過瘋人院的乞丐。
Tom也指雄性的動物。這首詩，本身為同性戀者的John Ashbery是為了Tom O'Bedlam而寫還是為了某雄性而寫就不得而知了。

這首Loving Mad Tom錄於John Ashbery的第九部出版於1977年的詩集Houseboat Days。

Matt，華文譯本就好像只有大陸馬永波的那本。但我覺得譯得不好，因為阿氏的詩用很多日常語，讀起來更有點自言自語的效果，而馬氏的譯本則太咬文嚼字。個人感覺。

看英文的感覺還好，但中譯版讀去語感就差了很多....
或許看看我有精神，也來譯譯吧。

至少第一句我會譯成「你以為錯了」會更切合，因為原文是「說話」式的。

回覆 心雪 的文章

英文版本的"感覺還好"？？你是指他寫得不好嗎？嘿嘿。

阿氏的詩很多時候像"說話"，他用很多日常語，俚語等，往往又不依文法和邏輯，令翻譯很吃力。

在此問題上，我是部份同意你的說法，但因為還不太習慣口語化的詩，我選擇這一種較"囉嗦"的說話方式，其實阿氏的詩也很"囉嗦"的，常常在一個主題上轉來轉去。